DISCOMFORT

What have you been telling yourself that you want over and over and not getting? One of the reasons you are not getting it is probably because you are avoiding discomfort. Our natural tendency as human beings is to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort. Some people are very good at seeing the benefit of short-term discomfort to reach a goal they think will be pleasurable:

• I won’t buy Starbucks or eat out to save money so I can buy that thing I really want
• I won’t eat dessert or bread so I can lose 10 pounds and keep it off permanently
• I will work out even when I don’t want to or feel tired or don’t have time so I can become stronger and more flexible

But many people will set these goals and then fall back into old habits and save less, eat more or exercise less. Why? Especially when we know we really want that goal.

The reason has to do with our brain. Our brains are very efficient and operate in a way that conserves energy. When we already know how to do something, our brain wants to keep doing it the same way to minimize the use of resources. It’s really quite brilliant!

One way to help us understand this is to look at two important parts of our brain. Our Frontal Lobes in the cerebrum control planning, anticipating the future, inhibiting impulses, self-reflection and moral judgments (among other things). Our Frontal Lobe is what distinguishes us from other animals.

Our Lower Brain (cerebellum) is similar to animals in that it ensures our survival through regulation of the autonomic nervous system mostly through unconscious functions, such as breathing, heart rate, movement, sight and hearing (among other things). So the Lower Brain operates more “automatically” which conserves resources. We don’t have to learn how to drive every time we get into the car because once we learn and practice enough, the Frontal Brain will delegate certain things to automatic in the Lower Brain. We don’t have to think about it each time and use our precious brain power. I like to refer to these parts as our Human Brain and our Lizard Brain (scientists call it the reptilian brain because this part of our brain function is shared by all reptiles and mammals).

So, when we are trying to change an old pattern (sitting on the couch or on Facebook) to achieve a new goal (exercise more to get stronger and healthier), the Lizard Brain wants to do what is automatic and known. It resists change. It is primal, survival-oriented and driven by fear. So if we really want to get what we want (stronger and healthier), we have to be willing to be uncomfortable. It’s really not that big of a deal once you understand how the brain operates and then practice and get used to it. You have to employ extra effort in the Human Brain. This part always requires more effort. So you have to tell yourself,

I just have to notice that my Lizard Brain is pulling me to do what’s familiar because it thinks that will help my survival. But lucky me; I also have an amazing Human Brain that can decide to override the Lizard. It will be uncomfortable for a while, but that is only temporary. The good news is that after a while, after steady and repeated practice of the new effort, it will become automatic and easier!

So embrace discomfort because the more you do, the closer you will be to having that thing you really want! Next week, I will talk about how to embrace discomfort.