Does Your Relationship Have a Mission Statement?

You have probably worked for an organization at one point or another that had a mission statement.  

Why do companies and nonprofits have one? Because it guides priorities and describes the reason that organization exists. Here are some good ones:

At American Express, we have a mission to be the world’s most respected service brand. To do this, we have to establish a culture that supports our team members, so they can provide exceptional service to our customers.

As a Jesuit Catholic university, John Carroll inspires individuals to excel in learning, leadership, and service in the region and in the world.

Facebook: Give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected.

Life is Good: Spreading the power of optimism.

So shouldn’t your marriage or relationship have a mission statement? We are all going in many directions, over stimulated, over consuming, with many demands for our attention. It makes sense to me that we have great clarity about things that are really important because, with life’s fast pace, it’s easy to get swept up and lose focus.

If you are willing to spend time thinking about your organization’s goals and strategies, then shouldn’t  you be willing to invest time thinking about your relationship?

Here are some questions recommended for business in considering a mission statement:

Who is your company?

What do you do? What do you stand for? And why do you do it?

Do you want to make a profit, or is it enough to just make a living?

What markets are you serving, and what benefits do you offer them?

Do you solve a problem for your customers?

What kind of internal work environment do you want for your employees?

Let’s look at how to translate that into a relationship mission statement.

Why do you want to be together?

How are your lives better together versus apart?

What are your top 3 shared common values?

What is the main reason you are willing to make sacrifices to be and stay together?

What is your role is serving others (children, extended family, community, friends…)?

I did this exercise with my boyfriend and here’s what we came up with:

We are fully committed to supporting one another to be our best selves, to support each other’s needs balanced with our own needs, to take very good care of our own needs so we can be the best partners and to be a safe and strong base for our 3 children to grow from and enjoy life with. We are committed to accepting each other fully, even when we disagree or are upset. Our top three values are family, commitment, and respect.

One of the benefits of a relationship mission statement is that it serves as a guide or North Star. When you are in a tough spot, your mission statement will remind you what the right course of action is. It will remind you why you are together, why you give up a life of “not being accountable to anyone” and why you are willing to accept not always getting your way for the greater good of the “organization” (the two of you). It will remind you of your higher priorities when you are taking a shortsighted view.

What is your relationship mission statement? If you’re not in a relationship right now, you can still think about what you want it to be and what your values are. I’d love to hear your thoughts, please comment!