Go BIG or Go Home!

This is the mantra of my friend and coach Catherine Thorburn.  The idea of being ‘big’ used to horrify me.  Especially because I was accused of being too big for much of my life.  I can remember my supervisor pulling me aside when I worked with a group of about ten clinical social workers in Los Angeles and telling me that when we met for group discussions or trainings that I “participated too much”.  I can remember many occasions as a child growing up when my energy and enthusiasm was “too much” (note to self:  remember this when your son’s life force is breaking the sound barrier).  I can even remember a former boyfriend saying, “Why can’t you be more like Eileen across the street?  She is soft and quiet”.

So the message was be small.  But I couldn’t!  It’s not who I am.

Then I read  a quote by Marianne Williamson,

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

So now I get it.  It’s okay to be all of who you are.  So what would be different if I take on Catherine’s mantra to Go Big?  Could I be wildly successful as a coach and not feel guilty?  Instead of saying “this is how much money I need to make to pay my bills”, could I say, “this is how much I WANT to make”?

Sometimes people play small to not upset the apple cart in their relationship.  They hold back so as not to make their partner feel small.  But the result of this can be that you play small for so long that you no longer remember your bigness.

One of my favorite blogs, The Good Vibe Blog by Jeannette Maw, recently featured a guest post by Debra Gehrke about being a divine elephant with amnesia living in an ant hole.  Talk about living small!  We are all divine elephants.  What would be different in your life if you woke up from your amnesia and stopped trying to live in an ant hole?  What would change tomorrow (or today) if you were willing to be the elephant?

I am ready to live big.  Are you?