I had so many thoughts about what I wanted to share at the end of 2020.
Lessons learned
Looking toward the future
Funny, sarcastic comments (see one of my favorite Facebook posts at the bottom)
But none of that felt right.
I still think about my mantra that I developed around March/April: Do my best and surrender the rest.
So my message at the end of 2020 is basically a summary of my philosophy of life and what I try to incorporate in my coaching. To accept what is. Surrender to what is outside of our control to change. Be with what is.
That does not mean that we accept another person’s bad behavior. It means that we accept that people behave badly. That may sound confusing. Let’s look at an example.
I won’t accept your racist behavior. I’m not going to dine out with you anymore because I don’t like it.
I accept that you have your beliefs and that I can’t change them (I’m assuming in my example that I’ve already tried).
So the acceptance in me creates non-resistance. And resistance is the cause of all suffering.
Which shows up so clearly in the Model because THOUGHTS create FEELINGS. So thoughts that fight against what is, create more suffering feelings.
So what does this have to do with 2020?
LET IT BE is my way of saying that every event and circumstance of this past year has already happened. There are so many examples of these events that created loss and pain (did I tell you that my son’s house in Boston where he is a college senior caught on fire on Monday and that he and his roommates have no where to live the rest of their senior year?!). But how does it serve us to keep talking about it, to keep focusing on how crappy it was (except for fun), or to keep railing against it (think politics)?
It doesn’t serve us.
What does serve us is to:
Let it in
Let it be
Let it go
Let it in: Feel it! Are you scared about COVID? It’s okay to feel scared. Are you sad about someone you’ve lost? Do not resist your feelings.
Let it be: Once you’ve allowed the feelings and let them in, now just sit with it and let it be. Feel it in your body. All feelings exist as vibrations in our body. Allow these sensations. If you sit with them and don’t resist and run away, the feelings will move through you and dissipate. There is no thinking involved in this step. Just feeling.
Let it go: Once you’ve fully allowed the feelings to exist, you make a decision to let it go. This part involves letting go of any painful thoughts associated it. You may need a better thought to replace it. For example, if we’re talking about fear about contracting COVID, once you process the fear in your body, you need a thought to focus on so you can let go of the fearful thought (I could die). A better thought could be: I can control many of the ways I can keep myself safe.
One of the other benefits of let it be is that when we allow ourselves to deal with what is present right now, we don’t have leftover feelings that need to get pushed down into storage. Because what goes into storage will always come back, right? So why not just be with it now.
Just let it be.
Have a healthy and beautiful 2021.
P.S. Here’s the funny Facebook post I saw about 2020:
