When it comes to intimate partner relationships, each person has to decide if they want to be the masculine energy or the feminine energy. You don’t have to be male to be the masculine energy and you don’t have to be female to be the feminine energy. Some women are comfortable being the more ‘thinking/ doing’ partner and match well to a man who is ‘feeling/expressive’. Since women typically prefer the feminine role, I will use those terms interchangeably here.
During my free coaching call last, I referred to the work of Rori Raye and Pat Allen, relationship coaches in Los Angeles. They define masculine energy as:
Thinking
Action-oriented
Decision making
Giving
and feminine energy as:
Feeling
Expressing
Sensual
Receiving
The biggest challenge I currently see in my coaching practice (and myself) is that women have become accustomed to ‘changing the world’ in their careers, often by doing, action and assertiveness, which are masculine energies. So when they try to ‘just be’ in their love relationships, they don’t know how.
In addition to not knowing, women also are reluctant to ‘giving up control’. What I mean by that is to stop ‘trying to make things happen’. Like getting him to call me, getting him to do things a certain way, getting him to change or be anything different than who he is. How do you think he feels when she is sending these messages?
The way I am doing it is not good enough.
So what if a woman just stopped trying to control the outcome in areas of their relationship where they feel frustrated? Instead, she just focused on BEING herself. Knowing she is worthy of love because of who she is, not what she does. When a woman stops ‘making effort’ and moves into a deeper level of just allowing a man to experience who she is by sharing her feelings, she makes room for him to move closer. She becomes more of a magnet, than a pursuer. She invites and allows his masculine traits, like giving and action. Isn’t that what she was trying to get all along?
So by not trying, a feminine woman gets what she wants. By just being.
